How to Spot a Passive Aggressive Husband



How to Spot a Passive Aggressive Partner (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression Book 1)

This book aims to helping you manage the confusion induced by a passive aggressive marriage and find your way around it.

In this book, we look at your marriage from your view. You’re trying to make sense of one of the most contradictory situations you can find: at the same time your husband says that he is in love, he is actively discouraging you, his so-called “loved object,” from getting too near.

Understanding and detecting this ambivalent behavior is quite an art. It can drive someone who has no idea and expects a straightforward behavior crazy. It takes several years to get to know the sneaky ways in which this behavior manipulates a spouse into believing that if only she puts more attention, more love or more patience, things will change.

It is useful, then, to get to know the main aspects of this behavior, and when recognizing them, apply a strategy that can protect the spouse (and save the marriage).


  1. says

    You will find it helpful to read the entire article, including ways to approach your spouse. If you are dealing with blamelessness, covert behavior, lying, lateness, etc. then this is a book you should read.

    Passive aggressive behavior stems from an inability to express anger in a healthy way. A person’s feelings may be so repressed that they don’t even realize they are angry or feeling resentment. A passive aggressive can drive people around him/her crazy and seem sincerely dismayed when confronted with their behavior. Due to their own lack of insight into their feelings the passive aggressive often feels that others misunderstand them or, are holding them to unreasonable standards if they are confronted about their behavior
    The passive aggressive will say one thing, do another, and then deny ever saying the first thing. They don’t communicate their needs and wishes in a clear manner, expecting their spouse to read their mind and meet their needs. After all, if their spouse truly loved them, he/she would just naturally know what they needed or wanted. The passive aggressive withholds information about how he/she feels; their ego is fragile and can’t take the slightest criticism. So why would they let you know what they are thinking or feeling?
    This book outlines numerous scenarios in which you might find yourself butting heads with a passive-aggressive man and ways to counter them. It isn’t an overly long or scholarly book which makes it easy to read, sort of like a handbook you might want to keep around if you are trying to salvage your relationship. If you are SO done with that route this book actually gives you permission to leave in order to save your sanity and that might be the most valuable lesson of all.
    Such an enlightening way. To explain this behavior and how to overcome it. The author did not sugar coat. It to expect it to be easy.

  2. says

    How long does it take for a wife to put a name on his behaviors?

    A reader has posted this comment about her process of discovering her husband PA behaviors, at

    I have been in a relationship with a passive aggressive man for 2 years..He had commitment issues so he punished me on our anniversary meet date by breaking up…the first year after we broke up he was typical pa and I tried to do everything to make the relationship work..of course like everyone here..2 weeks before our anniversary date for the second year we were watching a tv show and they mentioned “passive aggressive” I told him what’s that? he googled the term and gave me examples…I blurted out “that’s you” ..after much reading online I realized that I was in a passive aggressive relationship…..Guess what he broke up with me on the 2nd year anniversary too…that’s was 6 months ago and I have focused on me and improving my body and mind…after going through this experience with my xboyfriend the next 6 months were filled with tests realizing so many men are passive aggressive!

    My question is even after all this in the back of my mind I want him to change and us to be together Do our brains get out of whack ? Is this common in victims of passive aggressive abuse ?

    btw my logical brains say THANK YOU for only investing 2 years in this relationship with a pa man
    after reading the stories of women stuck for 20 plus years!!

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